Biting the Apple
November 14, 2021
It’s Saturday morning and I am waking up in Tony’s apartment in downtown Pasadena. We went on a bunch of really fun dates since we met, and after the movie last night I decided to stay the night at his place. I guess we’re really a thing now.
He is a gentleman, funny, caring and from everything I can see, a catch. He also adores me. I’m really lucky. He was the one to bring up the importance of safe sex and using a condom, so that showed he was thinking about me.
As I sit in bed with him I am left to wonder if I will think differently about my body . I’ve been writing all these posts from the point of view of a kid who loves to say the nudity is non-sexual and its just freeing and natural. It was easy to do because I didn’t have any experience of nudity being sexual. My body was just an all terrain vehicle for a rambunctious teen who loved to splash in water and run around in sunlight naked.
I look down at my body now and fully understand how I can use it to give pleasure, how it can intimately connect with another. I have also discovered I really like sex.
Has my love of running around naked just been signs of my dormant sexuality waiting to erupt? Now that I see how much my body really turns Tony on, is it something I am going to want to show to others? Am I going to develop the hang-ups about nudity that so many others have? These are probably not the thoughts of your average 20 year old the morning after her first intimate encounter.
We get up and make crepes together for breakfast. Tony puts on some shorts but I stay naked for our breakfast together. He goes around the living room and kitchen drawing the curtains because I am nude and can be seen from all the windows.
“You better get used to having a nude girl in your apartment.” I laugh.
As I sip my coffee, I picture us walking hand in hand naked down a beach (sorry Esteban). I’m pretty sure exploring my sexuality will only deepen my love of being naked.
Thanks for being open about your story and thoughts, Valerie. Nudism and sexuality are beautiful on their own, tough topic when brought together. Can we be naked and not sexual? Yes, it's what social nudism or naturism is about. Can we be naked in a nudist setting and feel sexual? Yes, but sexuality has to remain a private matter between consenting adults and only seen by consenting adults. People will tell you the line is fine, but I believe the line is clear. Nudity can be non-sexual or sexual, but should not at the same time at the same place, if others are there to see. The first chapter of my forthcoming book (https://www.nudeandhappy.com/2021/06/12/becoming-a-nudist-chapter-1-nudity-body-and-sexuality-the-human-body/) may shed some light, but I'm sure that with your nudist experience you'll be not only able to distinguish non sexual from sexual nudity, but explain them to Tony and enjoy nudism together when sex is not an option.
ReplyDeleteI was actually thinking about your post and it reminded me my years as a young adult in my 20's and I remember I felt confused about nudism as I loved being naked but at the same time I did not (yet) draw a clear line between nudity and sexuality. Every time I was naked outside alone or with fellow nudists, I felt some form of arousal and was sometimes "forced" to lay on my towel, feeling confused. It was by discussing with others that I learned that what I was feeling was normal and that I could learn to make a distinction between simple, social nudity and sexual nudity. Hence, my idea that nudism is indeed a journey and goes far being just being naked. I hope it will help.
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DeleteI was really not sure about posting this experience because I wanted to keep this as a wholesome, positive blog about naturist values. I really appreciate your reflections and comments and your perspective really helps. It reassures me that positive, healthy intimate relationships can be part of a healthy, happy, naked life.
DeleteIt has been a long time that we nudists have been trying to explain to textile people that nudism has nothing to do with sex, up to a point where some of us realize that we are picturing ourselves as asexual human beings. But sex is an inherent part of us. We can live and enjoy equally our sexual as well as our non sexual nudity. You see, the apparent dichotomy that you seem to paint in this entry really does not exist. (Please excuse my lack of clarity. English is not my first language after all.)
ReplyDeleteThere is no lack of clarity here my friend. Beautifully stated. I hope that by sharing my relationships with others, I can depict naturists, or at least this naturist as a real life, living, breathing human being.
DeleteTake care,
Val