Super Unconventional

 October 23, 2021

“Before we start dating, there is something you should know about me.”

It’s a beautiful fall morning and I am sitting across the table from a boy named Tony at a Pasadena cafe called Pequod rehearsing those words in my head.

Tony Murillo is a transportation design senior at Art Center and a friend of Clara, one of my room mates.  He is a really bright, talented guy from San Diego and after he started dropping by our apartment, he asked Clara for my number and called me up to invite me out for a coffee date.

I’m just going to come out and say it - making naturism a big part of how I want to live has made dating tricky.  I became a member of Muir Grove and dove into naturism just about the time that I should have stared dating in high school.  I did go to prom with a boy and I went out with groups of friends, but I didn’t seriously date anyone from Silver Lake because in the back of my mind, I was hoping to meet a boy I could date at my club.  That would have been so ideal because that is where I wanted to spend all my fun time and I wouldn’t have to worry about introducing my boyfriend into my subculture.

There wasn’t anyone my age that I clicked with at Muir Grove and now that I’m in college, it was time for me to just try dating and being honest about who I am. 

“You know,” I sip my coffee and look across at Tony, “I’m sort of pro-environment, which means I’m anti-car.  Isn’t that what you are studying to design, cars?”

Tony shakes a bit of sugar into his mocha and smiles with an - I got this - kind of grin.  “To be anti-car in LA, that’s a bit like saying you opposed to breathing.”  He reaches across the table and picks up my cell phone.  “In the next ten years, I will be designing cars that will travel over one hundred and fifty miles on less energy than it takes to power this phone for four hours.”

I can see passion and idealism in his eyes, and that is a real turn on for me.

“That’s wild.”  I take another sip.  “Making a positive change is what I want my life to be about too, that’s why I want naturism to be a really big part of how I live.”

“Like...”  He has a quizzical look on his face.  “Going out in the woods and planting trees?”

“Like knowing myself well enough to live naked, live as simply and honestly as possible.”

“Um…” he puts his coffee down.  “Back up again to that naked part.”

“Presenting my true, honest self to others is really important,” my voice quivers a bit because this is so damn awkward.  “I belong to a naturist club and spend a lot of time naked, with other people who are also naked.”

“Does this mean you’re polyamorous?”

“No” I assure him.  “I, like most naturist people prefer traditional relationships.  We just believe that living naked is a very healthy state of being.  Do you think you can date someone who spends a lot of time naked around other naked people?”

Tony pauses for a moment.  “Well, I think its kind of hot.”

“It’s not supposed to be hot Tony.”  I am annoyed with him, but understanding our culture, his response is completely understandable.  “It’s supposed to be healthy, family oriented and non-sexual.  If we are going to date, you will have to understand that there are situations where nudity has nothing to do with sex.”

From spending so much time at Muir Grove and meeting so many couples, I had heard lots of advice about how to introduce your partner or potential partner to naturism.  Maybe some of you readers can comment on your experiences dating as a naturist.  Everyone at the club was very clear that this conversation has to happen very soon in a relationship - so poor Tony was broadsided on our first date.

“I like unconventional Valerie” he smiles.  “I am all about supporting all the wonderful, creatives ways you live your life, and I hope you can bring me along on your journey.”